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Your trauma center, doctor…

Nice healz! My first healer kudos.  Just like that I want to jump right back on the Dungeon Finder and find another group of walking wounded with which to practice my craft.  Last night I finally felt some healing pressure, just the merest glimpse of some actual trauma.  Level 19, peoples.  This is serious business now.

Actually some of the heat was probably unnecessary.  I randomly drew Deadmines from the Dungeon Finder (which, can I just say, is still one my favorite instances in the whole game?), and ended up with a druid, a warrior, a paladin, and a rogue.  Once again, three people that wanted to tank, and did.  This can get tricky for a healer, and I found myself oom in short order.  This is the very essence of Whack-a-mole, which is of course, the real priest mini-game.

It’s an interesting phenomenon, as Salvatore posted earlier this week in his comments on this blog.  In these low-level instances, you end up with people that just don’t understand the fundamentals of the game.  Anyone who has been lurking around Azeroth for the half decade that the game has been around can’t help but be mystified by this.  After all, aggro management is 1st term Freshman stuff, right?  MMORPG fundamentals 101 with professor Kaplan.  How could anyone have missed that class!?  You forget that among the 12 million person student body, there are real Freshman running around (probably drunk, with hormones ablaze) that don’t know a dot from a pot and haven’t even started looking for Mankrick’s Wife.

So like Rodney Dangerfield, I’m going Back to School.  I’m majoring in Whack-a-mole, which isn’t so bad really. It is, after all, a classic.  At this early stage of my career, my heals and the associated health pools are so small, and the tanking is so disorganized, that we may actually be talking about more net whacking than in endgame.  Of this, I cannot be certain.  Perhaps the elder priests among us can speak to the veracity of this assertion.

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Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here…

Cattle have herds, wolves have packs, and I guess idiots have the new Dungeon Finder.  I hit level 15 and promptly headed directly for this new cross-realm magical group finder, intent on hitting Ragefire Chasm.  As an added bonus, I got to use the “random” feature for the extra blue item bonus prize, even though I was only qualified for a single dungeon.

This is truly a double-edged sword for the intrepid leveler.  On one hand, you now have easy access to a PUG, complete with a convenient teleport feature that takes you right into the dungeons (assuming instances are available, but that’s a subject for another time).  On the other hand, you will likely be teleported to the instance, only to have one or two people quit, and you’ll be left standing there, incomplete.

I assume people quit because they do not want to be in the “random” instance that fortune has selected for them.  Apparently a 15 minute debuff is not sufficient to discourage this I-want-the-random-reward-but-not-the-randomness behavior.  I’m sure pantheon of design gods at Blizzard will think up some new ignominy to shame them into politeness.

When you do, finally, find your way into a complete group, you are likely to have at least one member of the moron family among your party.  Not just any moron either, but the variety of moron that only the Internet can provide.

I humbly offer several examples of my misfortune for your reading amusement:

  • The tanking warlock who charges ahead of the actual tank and his pet to be swarmed and killed, only to yell for heals.
  • The party member that insisted we stand by the corpse of the first boss because it will respawn and “give us more stuff”.
  • The paladin, warrior, and druid who all wanted to tank and…did.

I could go on, but you get the idea.  It goes without saying, given the above, that there was a general lack of mana awareness among the parties, despite my repeated assurances that I was, in fact, OOM. I hereby create a new acronym for routinely ignored priests: FOOM, in which the F stands for…well, I’m sure you can guess.

Despite the somewhat uneven first experience with this tool, I’m encouraged.  I’m actually considering leveling discipline (gasp), so that I might continue to sample the company of the finest breed of moron available on the Internet.

Call me crazy.

November 2017
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